Confession: The Font of Mercy
The Holy Eucharist is Jesus. In receiving Our Lord, we receive His Flesh, His Blood, His Soul, and His Divinity. In receiving Him, Christ nurtures our souls and draws us closer to His Sacred Heart. However, receiving the Holy Eucharist is not the only way of experiencing an encounter with Jesus. In the Sacrament of Confession, Jesus meets His sons and daughters with the greatest attribute of God, His Mercy. “Proclaim that mercy is the greatest attribute of God. All the works of My hands are crowned with mercy.” (Diary of St. Faustina, No. 301)
In February of 2019, I was preparing myself to enter into full communion with the Catholic Church, but before I could request this and receive Holy Confirmation and First Communion, I had to go to Confession. I was of course afraid because I had to confess my sins to my priest. At the recommendation of some in my RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation for Adults) class, I opted to complete my first confession at a difference parish. I met with an elderly priest and spent a considerable amount of time confessing years of sins. After concluding, a quick discussion over my penance was had and then this Priest of Jesus Christ spoke the prayer of absolution:
“God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of His Son, has reconciled the world to himself and sent the Holy Spirit among us for the forgiveness of sins; through the ministry of the Church may God give you pardon and peace, and I absolve you from your sins, In the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.”
I received God’s mercy with full knowledge that my sins had been forgiven in that moment. Not because of a subjective emotional feeling, but because of Jesus’ own words to His Apostles made manifest to me: “Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained.” (John 20:19-23)
In this assurance, I left the confessional with a heart of joy, but also a sense of unworthiness. Joy because of an encounter with God’s mercy, but an overwhelming feeling of not deserving it. After I was received into full communion with the Catholic Church, those continued negative thoughts opened doors for the Devil to work on my conscience. After some time, my disposition became much like the Prodigal Son returning home after a life of loose living, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you; I no longer deserve to be called your son.” (Luke 15:20) Slowly, that scrupulous mindset set in. How could God forgive the bile that was being confessed? Not just what I had confessed in the past but the sins that were being committed in the present? By God’s grace, the story of the Prodigal Son doesn’t end with those words but with the response of the loving Father: “Quickly bring the finest robe and put it on him; put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Take the fattened calf and slaughter it. Then let us celebrate with a feast, because this son of mine was dead, and has come to life again.” (Luke 15:22-24) Such a sweet and tender reminder that it doesn’t matter what we think God is capable of. “Reconciliation is a gift of God, an initiative on His part. But our faith teaches us that this initiative takes concrete form in the mystery of Christ the redeemer, the reconciler, and the liberator of man from sin in all its forms.” (Reconciliation and Penance, 7)
In Confession, we are doing the confessing not the forgiving. Whatever sin we think God can’t forgive doesn’t matter because it’s not up to us. We bring the contrition of heart, and He brings the forgiveness of sins. When Jesus died on the cross, was it not God who decided to reconcile us to Himself? Didn’t He freely choose to go and give His life for us? He is the one who forgives us, reconciles us, loves us. It is us who He thirsts for on the cross, making the outpouring of mercy in the Sacrament of Confession the means by which He wets His lips.
“When you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul.” (Diary of St. Faustina, No. 1602)